Entries for October, 2005
October 4th, 2005
pagbawi ng mga kampeon
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 10:41 AM on October 4, 2005.
what a great start for october. kahit malabong mabawi ko ang kailangan kong bawiin, umuusad ang aking sales. kahit ayaw umorder ng aking mga kaibigan, ok lang kasi tutuloy pa rin ang pag-angat ng sales dahil marami namang sasalo sa akin. salamat sa starex.
physically, bumabawi ako. nagbabasketball kami at magandang training yun para sa takbuhan sa animo run. kahit never ako nagtraining sa running club, mukhang kakayanin ko yung 5k run sa rockwell.
school is fine. sabi ko nga, si gojocco lang ang parusa. at wala namang demands gaano sa LSPO.. kinancel ko nga yung reddition ko para sa "marksam tawagan".
basically, babawi na kami. sana magawa namin ng maayos!
October 6th, 2005
sabi nila...
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 11:08 AM on October 6, 2005.
def ka lang .... sabi ko, sayang ang kill...
mag lucy ka .... sabi ko, wala tayong stunner...
illusion lang yan .... sabi ko, creeps ang habol ko...
back na .... sabi ko, tower lang to...
pare itigil mo na .... sabi ko, hindi ko kaya...
kalimutan mo na .... sabi ko, hindi ko magagawa...
humanap ka na ng iba .... pano? wala akong makita???
Currently feeling: hopeful
October 9th, 2005
impulsive lasaret
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 06:37 PM on October 9, 2005.
kumusta na pala ako? ngayon ko lang naalala na kailangan pala kumustahin rin ang sarili ko after this lasaret. asan na ba ako ngayon? kailan ba ako huling nag reddition? kailan ko binalikan ang kwento ng buhay ko?
teka, bat nga pala ako napasali sa lasaret? kasi ganito ang kwento.. friday kasi nun at pumasok ako sa lspo. nag-aayos sila ng mga gamit sa lasaret. tapos, lumapit si erine at nagtanong kung pwede ko siya palitan sa lasaret.. n02 daw siya. gusto ko yung section dahil andun si cliff at may mga kakilala ako sa block niya kahit konti lang. may kakilala rin akong pumasok sa n02. come saturday morning, nag-ayos kami ng bags, check up lang.. andun si Nero at si Jofel. sila ang makakasama ko sa Canossa. so, medyo hyped up ako..
biglang nagkaproblema.. si rosco, hindi nagpapakita at galit si kuya aldrin sa kanya. so, ang gusto mangyari ni badjula aldrin, hindi niya makasama si rosco. so, nagkaroon ng switch. ang akala kong canossa n02 na masaya, naging FMM s19 na mas masaya. naroon ang mga taga pogznet (mga masters sa dota battle.net) at may kakwentuhan ako. maraming pictures at magagandang participants. maganda ang lugar at ok ang food. kaso, problema sa gamit dahil nga hindi ako nag-ayos nung bag ko, kulang kulang siya. bad trip pero nakaraos din. buti may skills ako sa mga ganoong sitwasyon.
ngayon, hindi ako nagsisisi sa nangyari. first time ko kasi ma encounter ang module na ito at mas maganda siya. kaso, mas konti ang bonding moments. more or less, masaya. may pictures ako na ipopost sa aking multiply. titignan yun ng participants. sana masiyahan sila.
these impulsive decisions make me happy. parang hindi talaga ako maga-agree kay brother armin.
Currently listening to: 214
Currently feeling: tired
October 12th, 2005
got this from an e-mail
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 09:25 AM on October 12, 2005.
The Ex
Now I have an idea why people make such a big deal about exes.
Y'know... stuff like, getting over the ex. Dealing with the ex. Being
friends with the ex. Being the ex.
I am an ex.
I know that it's stupid -- and silly -- to sound as if my whole life
revolved around being somebody's ex-boyfriend. But I can't help it...
that title packs a pretty strong punch. I am now an official member
of the "loved-and-lost" club. And while it's a title I don't exactly want,
I have to admit that it does say some things about me.
I am an ex.
I once loved someone who loved me back. But she didn't want to
stay... So I had to let her go.
I cried. A
lot. I spent countless nights wondering what went
wrong, muffling my sobs with my pillows so my parents wouldn't
suspect
that something was amiss. I'd reminisce about our happy
times, then break down when I'd realize that she was no longer mine. I
analyzed every single detail of our breakup. I
wrote long e-mails to my closest friends. I talked
endlessly about my situation. I
spent my nights in tearful telephone conversations
and my days in daydreams where we'd end up in each other's
arms again.
Sometimes she was still my angel, still my knight in shining armor
who I'd do anything for just to have back. But sometimes, I saw her as
the devil incarnate who broke my heart in the worst possible way,
and who deserved to be horsewhipped at the very least.
I told myself that it was all for the better. That this was what
was
best for the both of us. That this was God's plan. My
friends offered similar advice, none of which I hadn't
heard before: "It's a sign that you're not meant for
each other," "When God closes a
door, He opens a window,"
"Someone better is coming for you," "There are so many other fish
in the sea," etc.
But it didn't work. Because deep down, I still believed that she
was the one, the only one. And I couldn't understand how this was all
for the better... when every day seemed more torturous than the last...
not being able to be with her the way I wanted to be, seeing her so
unaffected,
and dealing with my broken-and-smashed heart and my bruised ego.
I tried to immerse myself in other activities to forget about her.
I went out a lot. I filled my schedule with movie marathons, computer
games amog others. It worked for a while... but then there were
times
-- times when my mind was cleared of the busy thoughts I tried to
occupy it with -- that I would think of
her. Her memory would sneak up to me on tiptoes, catching me in my most
vulnerable moments.
I tried to show the world that I was OK. That I was over her. That
it was fine just being friends. I didn't go around with a big "X" on my
forehead,
nor did I go around with puffy eyes and a tissue box.
I tried to live my life as I knew it before I met her. People
thought that I was doing great. They heard me laugh and they saw me
smile; I seemed happy, they said; and I told myself
that I was. But in the solace of my room, where I
tried to organize my thoughts and sort out my
feelings, I had to admit to myself that I wasn't truly happy. Because I
was still yearning for someone, and my heart still ached for something
that could not be.
It's been over 2 months since we broke up, surprisingly, things have
gotten better. I've changed. Somewhere along the way, I realized that
she
wasn't the only one out there for
me. I also realized that there were valid, powerful reasons why we
split up. And I've become stronger, older, wiser.
she's changed
as well -- when I look at her, sometimes I still see the girl I
fell in love with. Sometimes I think that she's the same
person...
she still has the same goofy smile and mischievous
charm that I fell for, and I like to believe that
the rest of her is unchanged as well. But then I take a
closer look and I realize that she HAS
changed... that I don't
know her anymore, not really... not enough to love and care for her as I once did. -- my favorite part.. huhu..
I am an ex.
I've
loved and lost. I've cried tears for the things that
were and that could have been. I've wrestled with intense
feelings of love and hate, of
jealousy, of frustration. I've simultaneously taken down and brought
up my pride. I've tried to rebuild my world without the person whom it
used to revolve around. I've tried to save myself from the depths of
depression and self-pity, and when I couldn't do that, I turned to God for help.
I don't know exactly what I gained, or
how much I lost. Maybe someday it will be all clear to me... then again, maybe not.
Currently feeling: touched
October 16th, 2005
Back to holiness
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 02:24 AM on October 16, 2005.
kagaguhan, then pagbalik sa katinuan. sana nga ganun ang ginagawa ko.
hindi
ako pumasok ng 3 classes nung friday. may quiz sa dalawang subject, and
just for the heck of it, hindi ako pumasok. hindi ko pa alam kung bakit
ko ginawa yun, pero yun ang desisyon ko. hindi ko rin alam kung masaya
ako sa desisyon kong yun pero para sa akin, tapos na, at ayoko munang
balikan pa. madami pa kailangan gawin at kailangan pag-isipan. pero sa
mga pagkakataong ito, isantabi muna ang pag-aaral. in return, madami
ako nagawa.. mga big deal na hindi ko kaya gawin, pero dahil sa power
na nakuha ko sa pagdodota, oo nagawa ko.
kanina, nagawa ko
sabihin sa aking lola ang tungkol sa six thousand pesos. at ang sinabi
ko sa kanya na kulang ko ay nine thousand. dahil yun naman ang totoo,
actually, 9,500 nga ang kulang ko sa aking cash on hand pero dahil alam
kong kaya ko makuha ang 500, 9k na lang. pipilitin ko mabayaran yun
tuition ko muna, then mabayaran yung mga consignment, then mabayaran
ang aking lola in the long run. pero as of now, alam ko na ang aking
kakayahan. di ko kaya kumita ng 6k sa loob ng isang buwan habang
nag-aaral. malabo. kala ko dati, kaya pero ngayon, hindi pala/.
kanina
rin, asa brothers' communtiy ako for our monthly meeting. kantahan at
inuman at lecture sessions. ang saya, at guess what, may lakas pa akong
magsulat ng journal entry. ay oo nga pala, ang pictures, ipopost ko na
sa multiply. yun kasi ang nasa lecture namin, ang tungkol sa journal
writing. you can write with pictures. at yun ang gagawin ko. masaya yun!
may
sakit ang foundrez ng eynex at ganun din ang muse. nakaconfine yung
muse at yung foundrez, kalalabas lang ng confinement. pero si monster
founder, kalaro ko na sa dota, kakwentuhan ko na nga.. di ko pa alam na
siya pala yun. kaya pala tumabi sa akin nung ang pangalan ko na ay
[eynex]AkoSiJp.. wakokokoko
so basically, yun ang aking mga nagawa na. there would be a greater thing that would happen. at sana magawa ko pa ng tama.
Currently feeling: nuthin
October 17th, 2005
tapusin mo ang term na ito...
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 12:34 AM on October 17, 2005.
"tapusin mo ang term na ito, then huminto ka muna. hindi ko gusto
yang mga kagaguhan na pinaggagagawa ninyo" - exact words of my dad
awhile ago when he heard the 6thou story. and i think, hindi siya
nagbibiro. gustuhin man niya, hirap na hirap siya magpa-aral sa amin.
not that it is totally my fault, but who is else there to blame? sa
simula pa lang naman, 4th year high school pa ako, he has already
clarified to us that he can't send us to de la salle all at once. at sa
trun ng events kung saan di namin akalain na mamamatay agad ang aking
lolo, the support system suddenly collapsed. now, we do not know what
to do exactly. we all ask our other relatives, na minsan nga lang ay
makikitid ang utak, some money to spare us. good thing we have them.
so
ganito ang nangyari kanina. i wad watching harry potter sa HBO. then
suddenly, daddy came from bulacan. nagbaba siya ng mga gamit as well as
yung diesel na kabibili lang niya dahil pag bukas pa niya bibilhin, mas
mataas na ang presyo dahil sa oil price hike. so panic mode ako, pero
hindi ko kinausap si nanay na wag na sabihin kay dadi yung problema ko.
as what i expected, umakyat si dadi at pinuntahan kami sa kwarto namin.
nagtanong tungkol sa tuition at kung magkano pa ang hinihingi namin kay
nanay. so sinabi ko na yung kwento. ayun! he was disappointed daw at
bumaba siya ulit. kinausap ang lola namin sandali at pinababa kami para
magkaharap harap. buti na lang, my grandmother loved us so much at
pinipilit pa niya si daddy na wag ako pahintuin. pero as the meeting
progresses, nakikita namin na mukhang malabo talaga ang pag-aaral ko
next term dahil hindi pa stable ang fish pond. pero ang 9k na hinihingi
ko ay mukhang approved. at hindi siya ibabawas sa allowance ko this
term. and deal ay babayaran ko na lang daw pag nagtatrabaho na ako.
more
or less, i really felt bad and scared. ganun kasi ako ka-takot sa aking
dadi. he just tells us na ang kailangan lang ang pwedeng sundin. no
impulsive decisions, at kung meron man, dapat sobrang minimal at sunod
pa rin sa plan B. i just wish a miracle can happen.
Currently feeling: worried
October 20th, 2005
lumalaban ka na naman para sa babae?
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 01:57 AM on October 20, 2005.
ano na nangyari ngayon? first time natalo si tiny..
one on one pa. grabe, ano nangyaring mali? unang una, dapat walang
ibang KNP na nandun, hindi ako makapagconcentrate e. pangalawa, dapat
stick to the plans.. always use calculated risks. kagaya nung huling
part. dapat super push na lang ginawa ko tutal andami kong kasamang
creeps. and then, dapat derecho na hanggang frozen throne kasi long
side push naman yun. at nagawa na ni clifford dati yun, dapat ako rin.
basically,
ang kamalasan na yun ay epekto lang ng naunang kamalasan. lumaban ang
KNP gamit ang econdary heroes. mali pala yun. dapat pala primary heroes
lang parati. sana naisip namin ng maaga. pero dahil tapos na. there is
nothing to do but to move on. para sa pag-ibig..
so what happened
bukod sa dota? ummm, birthday ni wendy of course. the plan went out
smoothly. ok naman ang 19 white roses with violet ribbon sa umagang kay
ganda na medyo umaambon. may kasama pang digicam at novellino. all i
wish is that one entry in tabulas would be dedicated for that. sayang
naman yung pagbukas ni ahya ng pinto at yung pagtanong ng mama niya "si
wendy?"
so pagdating ng hapon. nagpakain si wendy sa shakey's
all i can say is, ang sarap ng libre! kahit na nagpasukat ka ng sutana
at 30mins to eat, may tira pa na pwedeng upakan habang ang lahat ay
kumakanta ng THIS DAY. salamat at once again, nakita ko siyang masaya.
sana araw-araw birthday niya, kahit araw-araw na may magtext sa kanya
ng "happy bday your highness" ok lang.
so, ayun ang
nangyari. malamang, ang pagkatalo ng KNP ay umusbong dahil sa desisyon
kong iyon, pero hindi ako nangangamba dahil naging masaya ang araw na
ito para sa kanya. at sapat na iyon para maging masaya ang isang
kampeon ng pg-ibig.
Currently feeling: happy
October 22nd, 2005
ikutin natin ang laro
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 12:07 AM on October 22, 2005.
pasensya na ngunit kailangan namin tapusin ang laro. pasensya na
kung di ako tumupad sa binitiwang salita. pero kailangan talaga namin
lumaban para sa pag-ibig. buti na lang at may kakaiba kaming
istratehiya kung kaya't ang sobrang labo nang mangyari, nagawan pa
namin ng paraan.
wala na kaming towers.. sobang wala na talaga.
at kumpleto pa ang hanay ng kanilang towers sa base. pero salamat sa
divine-aegis ni phantom lancer. hindi nila kinaya ang aming lakas.
sakto rin ang pagbalik ni kel thuzad at tiny sa base kaya hindi na
nakaporma ang backdoor nila. malakas din si balanar at life stealer na
nagpatuloy sa pagsugod nung bumalik na kami. at syempre ang bida na si
phantom lancer na ginawa lang ang nararapat niyang magawa.
gaya
ng dati, hindi talaga lahat ay makakamtan. may kailangang isakripisyo.
sana maintindihan ito ng nakararami. gayunpaman, humihingi ako ng
patawad sa mga umasa. sana mapatwad ninyo ako. isa lang po akong
kampeon, at sa pagbawi o pagbangong muli napatutunayan ng isang
mandirigma kung siya talaga ay karapatdapat na tawaging kampeon.
Currently feeling: working
October 25th, 2005
easy games
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 10:08 AM on October 25, 2005.
nagpasaa kami ng registration form para sa isang dota tournament.
ngayon, naghahanap kami ng sponsor para in case matalo kami, hindi kami
talo sa pera. sana lang may kumagat.
point system pag natapos ang
time at independent of hero kills ang mechanics. syempre naghahanda na
kami para doon. noov12-13 daw ang simula. dapat kasi sa 29 na, kaso
marami umaangal sa 750 registration fee per team. pero para sa akin, ok
lang yun. mga takot lang sila dahil alam nila, hindi sila ganoon
kalakas. we are very confident to win this one. napakarami na naming
nagawang practice. at sure ako, maganda ang mga play namin. tried and
tested kahit sa 4v5 na laro. at syempre ang last resort namin ay subok
na sa isang no-mor-tower game. handang handa na lumaban ang mga kampeon.
kagaboi
nangyari yung easy games. dikit dikit yung mga kalaban at hindi pa
ganoon kasanay sa kanilang mga hero. ewan ko kung chamba lang pero
sobrang nadalian ako sa laro. hindi ako kinabahan kagaya nung mga dati
nam,ing mga laro kahit na agrabyado kami ng isang hero.. apat lang kasi
kami at lima sila. yung isa pa naming kakampi, hindni namin kakilala.
magaling rin siya at sa tingin ko, nakita na namin ang hero na dapat
gamitin ni number 4.
easy games dahil bday ni ange kahapon. bday rin ni atsi ngayon!
Currently feeling: satisfied
bayaran mo na utang mo!
Posted by maxterspade12ph at 10:33 AM on October 25, 2005.
parati sinasabi sakin ito ni raprap. sobrang tagal na ng utang ko sa
kanya. 500 pa ata yung di ko nababayaran, interest yun ng tunay ko na
inutang. don't worry rap, mababayran din kita.
naniningil na rin
si cathy ng globe. grabe, broadcasted pa sa buong LBD program yung
paniningil niya ng 430 pesos. oo nga naman, nakakahiya nga naman, pero
sobrang mahirap talaga magpaikot ng pera lalo na kapag andami mong
pautang at yung mga pambayad mo sa utang ay manggagaling pa sa mga
sinisingil mo.pero ok lang, as far as i am concerned, ang accounts
recevable ay mas mataas sa ccounts payable. kaso, masama po yun. dapat
kasi, ang inventory equal siya sa accounts payable. may inventory nga
ako dito, pero hinid naman gusto ng mga suppliers ko yun. hehe.
sige
na magbabayad na po.. naiinip na tuloy ako sa tournament. sayang ang
price money. biruin mo, anong gagawin namin sa 2k each? pwedeng mas
malaki pa yun kung mas maraming sasali.
Currently feeling: hungry